Be Gone . . .

. . . before someone drops a house on YOU!

This didn't occur to her when she decided the red & white stripe stockings were a good idea?

Fuzzy Wuzzy All in Pink . . .

. . . had to match her child, clothes & bags, you think?

Winter is Upon Us, Dude . . .

. . . seeing everyone else in coats, scarves & gloves wasn't a clue that you needed a coat?

Doormat DON'T . . .

. . .besides looking like you buried your poor pooch at your front door, you'll regret it when someone trips & sues you for everything you have.

I DON'T Get It . . .

. . . why would anyone do this?

Just in Time for the Holidays . . .

. . . how to truss up a turkey.  Sponsored by Butterball.

(And I don't believe that's a costume.)

Society's Downfall . . .

. . . really?

Come on.  Seriously?

How Does One Hoola Hoop . . .

. . . with a TAIL?!

More importantly, WHY is he wearing a tail?!

Contrary to Popular Belief . . .

. . . this doesn't only happen on Halstead Street.  The straights do it, too.

Little Black Dress...Timeless.

. . . little peek-a-boo sheer . . . Tantilizing.

. . . little penis earrings . . . Tasteless.

But I bet she's going to "make it work" for her later tonight.

Buckle Up, Buttercup . . .

. . . she's not so thrilled to be seen with you posing like a runway victim.

Per Reader Request . . .

. . . the only other angle available.  This was a reader sighting & submission.

Where Do I Begin . . .

. . . to tell the story of how great blind a love can be? 

Seriously?  One of them couldn't see that there were bad ideas going on here?

Hello - tramp stamp & hot pink bikini?  O'Hare has dimmer landing signals!

Speechless . . .

. . . and apparently so was his Mirror on the Wall.   Pity.

Pink Pageantry . . .

. . . the Brits called & want their flag back.  It doesn't go with thsoe shorts.

I Need Some Crack Spackle Here!

. . . better make that the industrial size.

When Cartoons Come to Life . . .

. . . is that a bathroom matt around your shoulders, or are you a Super Hero in Training?

Hey little Orphan Annie - love the new hair color, how about a dress in grown-up girl sizes now?

Up on the Rooftop . . .

. . . uh . . . that's no reindeer pause.  Someone should invent mirrors with age detection capabilities.

"You are too old to wear a bikini."

And can you mix & match sizes when buying a two-piece swim suit?

Oh, You Skirty Girls . . .

. . . looking like Julia Roberts on Rodeo Drive (pre-Pretty Woman make-over).

Celine Dion, Eat Your Heart Out

DailyDON'T No. 1 - Never allow touristy restaurants to make a fool of you.  They get more enjoyment out of making fun of you than you could ever have yourself.

DailyDON'T No. 2:  Learn how to wear a lobster bib without showing your vast cleavage.  Unless you like your breasts smelling like the Chicago River later.

DailyDON'T No. 3:  Unless you are breaking into the "world's oldest profession", avoid this type of advertising on your person.