Low Riders . . .

. . . I still don't get it.  Do you purposely buy long t-shirts?  And how long does it take to learn "the walk" to keep those britches from falling to the ground?

The Abominable Snow Woman . . .

. . . if she shaved everything but her head & calves.

For God's sake - it's a hot June day, woman!!!   I need a shower after seeing that.

Blondes Have More What?

(Provided by a very loyal reader witnessing a bad personal experience.)
My reader provided no physical description. . .but I'm just sayin'. . .)

I just witnessed this at the Post Office:


Characters:

1) YW = Young woman (maybe 20), trying to return a package to Victoria Secrets

2) PW = Postal Worker

YW: I want to drop this off.
PW: How do you want this sent?
YW: Right away.
PW: (places it on scale) The prices and options are right there (points to screen).
YW: Oh, I've already paid for the shipping.
PW: How did you pay for shipping?
YW: The label is right there.
PW: Ma'am, that's a UPS label.
YW: Well, can you mail this?
PW: Yes, how do you want to ship it?
YW: What do you mean?
PW: Choose one of the options.
YW: Will you give me my money back for what I've already paid?
PW: No, you'll have to take that up with UPS.
YW: Why can't you do it?
PW: Because we're not UPS and you haven't given me any money.
PW: I know. I haven't given you any money because I already paid you for it.
PW: No Ma'am, you paid UPS.
YW: Aren't you UPS?
PW: No Ma'am, we're the United States Postal Service, the Post Office.
YW: (blank stare)
PW: Do you still want to mail this package?
YW: Yes, but not if I have to pay for it again.
PW: Ma'am the only way you won't have to pay again is if you take it to UPS.
YW: But, why can't you take it?
PW: Because we're not UPS and they don't pick up here.
YW: But you just said you are the post office. (turns to the line behind her) Didn't she just say this is the post office?
PW: Ma'am, that is a different company. You will either have to pay me or take it to UPS.
YW: Can you call them and ask them to come and get it?
PW: No ma'am, I can't help you. You need to get out of my line now.

Where to begin?

. . . oh wait,  I have it . . .  how about just - NO.  NOT EVER.

Baby it's Cold Outside . . .

. . . so stop shivering and bitching about how cold it is to whomever you were yapping to on your cell phone and put on some damn PANTS, would ya?

Yet again. . .

Happy
F@#$%&G
Halloween.

Give me a break!

Saturday, October 24th . . .

Happy
F@#$%*G
Halloween.