"I CAN'T PUT MY ARMS DOWN!" . . .

. . . cuz my shorts are cutting off circulation to the rest of my body!

Hot Mess Trifecta . . .

Will someone PLEASE buy these people mirrors?

When Cartoons Come to Life . . .

. . . is that a bathroom matt around your shoulders, or are you a Super Hero in Training?

Hey little Orphan Annie - love the new hair color, how about a dress in grown-up girl sizes now?

Like Father, Like Son . . .

. . . and nothing guarantees that more than inbreeding.

Return of the Sidewalk Hogs!

Summer in the city brings many wonderful things.  These, however, are among the pesks that also crawl out of their slovenly selfish holes each summer season.

"Oh yes, we're important enough to slowly stroll, take the entire sidewalk and not be concerned with any other being on the planet."

Komedy Klub Katastrophe . . .

. . . Katie the Komic (center) just knows she's going to kill 'em with her krazy routine.  Little did she know she already killed us with that katastrophic kollection she's wearing.

Showdown at the Country Corral . . .

. . . you just know there is one big, glistening, greasy cold onion ring left on the plate in the center of the table.

Up on the Rooftop . . .

. . . uh . . . that's no reindeer pause.  Someone should invent mirrors with age detection capabilities.

"You are too old to wear a bikini."

And can you mix & match sizes when buying a two-piece swim suit?

I don't know what this game was . . .

. . . but this did catch attention from several people a they passed by.

He Just Washed His Hair . . .

. . . and it must have stretched out, because it no longer fits his head.

Layers and Layers . . .

. . . of straps & straps.  Which will give way first - a strap or the comb that's straining against those wild curls?

Old Dog, New Tricks . . .

. . . or is it New Tricks, Old Dogs?

If it wasn't a fund raising effort, I'd say "think before you strip".

Cooly McCool . . .

. . . too sexy for his socks, and making sure everyone knows it.

Freaky Feet . . .

. . . makes me a little squeamish - and kind of cartoonish at the same time.

The Davinci Girls Club

There was something sort of artful about this trio.  Imagine this as the casting call for the Mona Lisa?

A Trip to City Hall . . .

. . . is always an adventure.  Who knew Elton John would be there?!

"It's Not Where You're From . . .

. . . it's where you're going.   It's not what you drive; it's what drives you.   It's not what's on you; it's what's in you.   It's not what you think; it's what you know." (Gatorade commercial, July 2002)

From where I'm driving, I know he needs more Gatorade.

Chicago Weather . . .

. . . plays havoc on wardrobe selection.  Too warm for socks?  Too chilly for shorts?  Big leather weekend?

Let's wear ALL of it - badly.

Oh, You Skirty Girls . . .

. . . looking like Julia Roberts on Rodeo Drive (pre-Pretty Woman make-over).

Three Strikes, You're Out . . .

Skin tight nlyon running shorts when you haven't run further than to the nearest bar.
Strike One.

Wearing your leather harness and jock under tiht clothing.  Strike Two.

Having your buzzed hair dyed in a bear claw with claw marks.  Strike Three.

You're OUT.

Little Jack Horner . . .

. . .  alone in the corner
chatting his friends up in May.
Along came a bear cub
and showed Jack his bare chub,
then off on his merry way.

Celine Dion, Eat Your Heart Out

DailyDON'T No. 1 - Never allow touristy restaurants to make a fool of you.  They get more enjoyment out of making fun of you than you could ever have yourself.

DailyDON'T No. 2:  Learn how to wear a lobster bib without showing your vast cleavage.  Unless you like your breasts smelling like the Chicago River later.

DailyDON'T No. 3:  Unless you are breaking into the "world's oldest profession", avoid this type of advertising on your person.

Parade Season is Upon Us . . .

Here's a DailyDON'T tip for those on the float committee . . . observe all floats from ALL angles before sending down the street?

Out for A Lovely Sunday Stroll . . .

. . . and you run into THIS?!

Love the Green Chain Link . . .

. . .  but for all etermity?  I think not.

Lo-Cal Treat . . .

. . . in Boystown?

That's the best you can do, Skinny Cow?

Love the Hair . . .

. . . hope you win (after that tragic bender accident).

2010: The Summer of Odd Bikes . . .

. . . I think the game is on to find the strangest bike in the city.

Times Are Still Tough . . .

. . . even for Barneys New York.

The Three Shades of Steve . . .

. . . couldn't make up his mind?